| thinking a little about you |
[08 Jan 2006|04:01pm] |
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my own silence |
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im thinking a little about you
and the way you smile when you know we both see through it
you cant hide that you dont believe me anymore
you make me think of who i am
and who im trying to be
you remind me that i could never be someone you could trust
perhaps once you had that faith
but my lack of word
left you behind
and i know why you think i've abandoned who i am
but trust me
its the only way to get back to where i started
to loose it all
is to see it set free once again
im not trying to be a beautiful writer
and spell it all perfect
because what it amounts to is the subject matter
and what im setting free
im not original
but im least im honest
i care enough to give this one to you
to let you know all is not lost
my hope is continuous
and no one can take my soul
nor can anyone escape it
ive got heart
and im going to blow right through the middle of anyone who puts their didainful foot out to trip my dream
cock that and pull this
im gonna be everything ive ever meant to be
yours truely
through the heart of the south
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| Ill always be around |
[15 May 2005|09:58pm] |
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 crushed |
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box car racer |
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always be around
always pushed around
and mostly never kidd around
your so cute in your vindictive suit
killing the innocent friend
thats right not the bystander
it feels better to hurt until the end
your little white lies turn into huge disasters
natural born destroyers
all came to tare down life
we'll all hit the bottom
right here and now
say your prayers
and place both feet down
if your legs dont break
stand to begin
(maby your heart hasnt had all it can take)
start the story all over again
it amazed me how quickly i saught revenge
i never though id feel it again
this goes out to all the liers
hurting will only end in sin
your corrupt and shallow
cowardice and callow
if youd only said sorry
i may have been broken down
we could have worked it out
of course you didnt. your to big for little ol' me
it had to hurt that way
thats the only way it comes.
rappped up tight in a huge red box
marked Fragile: im a lier and a fraud
ive come to take love, and make you feel your own blood
it always does ...nothings ever gonna be just fine
kiss it cold
kiss it gone
your heart pierced
with a little red gun
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| Spring Break...... |
[26 Mar 2005|11:21am] |
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wow, its almost over, this huge mess of memories is finally coming to a close. I can faithfully say i wont forget any of them. Espcially the F-ING rain at the beach, had to come home early. However i did get in time to surf.I was def. rusty. But it helped to have a whole bunch of other people sucking also. Confusion and it all mashed together...thats how i would describe this spring break.Cant wait for next years. Actually i cant wait for the summer.....moveing to the beach forget lame orlando. Ya ok well hers a new one.......
Lost are the feelings
creative are the tears
kindly wanting us to push away the fears
Im sorry theres a difference
of the girl whoes totally free
youve upset the standard of life
and you came at an awkard time
however its everything ive told myself
its everything thats true
but for some reason
im just not letting you through
Strangly enough i was made a fool
but in my humility i see you
i dont want to get hurt
i dont want to bleed
because my heart wont survive
another slash to her stitches
she is now to familier to the deceptive drawn knife
dont come at all if you cant give what i deserve
dont come at all if you cant give me you
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| Hardly meeting the standards of friendship |
[05 Feb 2005|06:20pm] |
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 pissed off |
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gum chewing |
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sick and shallow
amused and hollow
Your playing a game
of treacherous defeat
your hypocritical ways
are starting to end the craze
The selfishness is sheer abomination
its just one more temptation
your so cute in your fake facade
I envy you...blah blah blah
so quick to judge
and all that i imply
please dont act shy
liar
bitter
cold
and most of all ALONE
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| HIGH SCHOOL LUST IS A MUST |
[27 Jan 2005|06:33pm] |
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tiny dancer |
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Revivals of truth
secrets of lies
your holding back a series of cries
I outstretch my hand
and grasp you hard tan
you lick your lips and feel the taste
of blood then you begin to plead your case
Your scared and sorry
its always sorry
Your alone now
and you ask youself how
can this be
look at the person Ive came to
Depressed in your allusion
your tears have came to a conclusion
Stacking the chairs to reach the ceiling
Youve suddenly lost all feeling
But an image remembered
of the girl you ruined that cold december
the thin air tightens your breath
you ask yourself is this really death?
wait for a sign to begin
every step until the end
Your scared and sorry
its always sorry
your alone now
and you ask yourslef how
can this be me
look at the person Ive came to be
depressed in your allusion
your tears come to a conclusion
Its you whoes leaping and I dont feel a thing
As i walk through the door
no heart beats anymore
I reach no state of surprise
to see you hanging with no sign of life
youve reached your final fate
a step you were willing to take
Goodbye to my broken heart, finally no pieces apart
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| Symptoms of sickness |
[11 Jan 2005|08:13pm] |
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mellow |
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Led zepplin-tangerine |
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hmmm so I have tried to update so many times but it always deletes right when i am about to enter it all. Yep thats my luck.... Anywho I am really not digging school right now, as usual. Its a typical feeling for me now! Ya so technically im grounded but i think i can weasel out of it. I know for sure im going surfing with steph and vick saturday though. Thats gonna kick dirt! Also im trying to get to go to my pal jays birthday bash! that should be fun also. Considering the amount of alcohol involved....jk. Man i love thoes asians and jessie and gale!!!! Crazy boys.... Um ya what else.....i think i am gonna play lacrosse. Amy and alex convinced me. Im likeing it so far. oh yea the bob marley reggae fest is coming up ..im stoked about that. alright music time.....
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| updating |
[21 Nov 2004|08:28pm] |
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green day-jesus of suburbia |
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ok so def. havent updated in a while..so here it is. School, soccer all the good stuff. latly just been hanging out. trying to do the the whole high school thing. ok tired now....
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| Grounded for life |
[12 Sep 2004|02:16pm] |
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lauryn hill- everything |
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ya so I really dont want to go to school tommarow but damn Ivan wants to be a bia and not hit us. What a crock! I guess it doesnt really matter because I am grounded for until next week thanks to my shitty extravaganza last night. The very end of the night wasnt bad though(snicker). I saw resident evil also , it was a little weird. Not that bad though. Of course richie and john insisted we sit UNDER the speakers so i pissed my pants every two seconds. Well today I just got back from the pool. Got a little sun. Now I have to go take a shower so ill get to getting.
-I purpose a question
a question of truth and mind
when will it be ok
to date thoes of your kind
I hear the silent protest
I see it in your eyes
Someday I will be yours
and you will be mine
-all the sudden insecure
we could have had something pure
free of perversion
an understatment at best
you really would have put me to the test
of course i would prevail
but remember
I'll never leave you stale.
-I'll let you in on a little secret
I just hope you can keep it
Its of purity and truth
reminds me of my youth
you could have me
all you have to do is ask
just promise me
your not wearing a mask.
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| Playing with the kiddies in Georgia |
[06 Sep 2004|06:26pm] |
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ozzy-dreamer |
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yep...up in the atl, thanks to frances. My family evacuated, sorry to all you losers who got jacked up. All I have been doing down here is watching movies out the wazoo.(which is what i normally do, but still) It keeps me occupied. I have to educate you all on old horror movies. They are all really pornos disguised as horror movies!! It was craziness! I laughed my ass off! anyhow, also i past the time by playing old maid(thanks steph) I LOVE that game ...and BS too. Now I am really ready to go home, but we still cant. They have way to many kids up here! They bug the shit out of me. MUST GET DAZED AND CONFUSED SOUNDTRACK! but im broke(as usual) man i need to lose 15 lbs hahahaha ya whatever ok time to get back to the movie!
-sometimes im serious, cynical, critical
but these are indeed crucial moments in life
my life, my future, my whole entire being
not dramatic, just realistic
It cant be taken lightly
The roots run deeper than you think
back to a time when being wise was essential
and respect existed.
-Retreat, retreat back to what you know
when you pass through it all
remember not to fall
keep whats left in your heart
keep it personal
somethings are for only you
keep it close
keep it tight
when youve had your fun
and its all said and done
retreat.
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| mmmm TAB |
[01 Sep 2004|07:01pm] |
Lonliness is the human condition, cultivate it
Its a time in our lives to figure out whats important to each of us
I really like tab, you know i was just reading my good pal stephs lj, very amusing i must say. She always makes us and me for that matter seem much cooler than we actually are. lol I like it though. So now we have friday off for the hurricane thing. I am really bummed because my mumsy is making my family leave town. Sabotage of my labor day off...yellow! Not that I would be doing anything that interesting anyways. But the thought of it sounded nice. So in conclusion ive cosidered my options and i will indeed be accompaning my mother on a journey out of florida. (sips more TAB)I have become very infatuated with a book called White Oleander. Janet Finch is genious. She gets lonliness.Corpulence is being fat ( word of the day). I have recently taken up skateboarding along with a few of my friends..I must say i enjoy it ..alot. ok well i have homework now.
avoir
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| little do they know |
[02 Jun 2004|04:40pm] |
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i shot the sheriff-bob |
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I have made a very shocking discovery .... how little people really do know! It amazes me all the stupidty, crazed imaginations, silly people who actually think they know something. Well they do know stuff but not about what they think they know stuff about.(which only makes since to me )I know i am a hypocritical accuser but at least i admit it. I mean shit....some of these people we surround ourselves with are very confused, self obsorbed, and jealous. Which they claim is their opposite. Well they may have the world fooled but i recognize their show and know the theme song lol. Im serious and pretty soon i am gonna start singing it !!!!! ya bunch of shmucks!!!!!!! OK anyhow now that, that is out of the way ..I broke my toe at work..wet n wild lifegaurd baby!!! I am getting dark and its awsome..I love my job! I dont have time for a social life right now but its cool though ... I am meeting some cool people at work. However i miss my friends from school though! o well time to go do something constructive with my life.
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| I was meant to be a wonderer |
[18 May 2004|07:35pm] |
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Bob marly- no woman no cry |
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Bonjour my fellow teens....latly life has been a little TOO high school so i havent been able to update in a while. Anyhow I have just been a little depressed today cause i am not going to be able to go to A PERFECT CIRCLE concert...tear. However I did get a job at wet-n-wild as a lifegaurd. I just have to complete the small task of passing the lifegaurd TEST....lol ya so we will see how that works out. Stephs bday is coming up the big 16! Schools almost out thank God!
-My lifeless embodyment
screwed up in the head
punctured at the soul
and ripped at the seems
-unfocused fatality
the rebirth of a tragedy
-Im ready to give my all but my all had never been good enough
Im prepared to give you me
but im sure there will never be a we
I can make someone happy but ill never get the chance
so ill just give you one last glance
A look of pain and desire when
will these unrational thoughts expire
I hold my heart up to you generously(steph and nicole) outta room now
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| O my freaking god |
[03 May 2004|07:09pm] |
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yellow card-my only |
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o my freaking god steph, vicki ,matt, and matt just bombarded me in my own home! Trying to relax chill at the homestead and here they come up the stairs im in my pjs havent brushed my hair today! man o man. LOL But it ended up being really fun once i did unlock my door! lol matt H had a freaking condom in his wallet so i opened it and then he "had" to put it on his head!That was a sight to see let me tell you ! Then the matts decided to jack 2 hats from me and my sis. Def. gonna have to make a plan to get thoes back , project: bombard matts!!!!lol And yes matt h your mother WILL lead me to your room !!hehe anyhow tommarow is gonna suck cause i am gonna have mad homework cause i didnt go to school today( i was "sick") lol this weekend is going to be awsome!!!"if you wanna come to my hotel, all you got to do is holla at me"! yeah that is right baby....PARTY...ok time to catch up on the tv watching skills!
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| Cupcakes! |
[02 May 2004|06:52pm] |
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yellow card |
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woke up to cupcakes ...now that is the bomb! watched house of the dead..that kinda sucked. Then steph choked on a mint..what a freak!lol enough for now.
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| Grounded |
[01 May 2004|04:03pm] |
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lauren hill-that thing |
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woo....what a night! I sure did have alot of fun for being grounded. all my friends got themselves grounded also!!! That will teach matt not to climb into his window at 5 in the morning!lol ok steph WE KNOW you hit me in the face! yard wrestling: fun thing to do at 2 in the morning! anyhow def have to do that again. here cheeba...! ok incase anyone hasnt noticed april m is the shit at the g-tar! She came over thurday and played and shit. It was pretty tight. my live journal is quite possiably the best lj ever!ok nap nap time for miss lipy.
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| just here |
[31 Mar 2004|08:16pm] |
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artistic |
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start trouble-whole cd |
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just here ...listining... paying attention. Tired o so very tired. also you dont have to get violent! lol(huh steph)
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| im sorry |
[30 Mar 2004|10:58pm] |
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only one-yellow card |
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Sometimes in trying to find our selves we trample others. Liveing in this modern teenism as i like to call it is very destructive to every relationship im capable of. I find myself loosing faith and the truth is im giving up my faith. I am the weak i used to hate. I find myself not being able to hack life. All the while my dreams go up in flames. Im at a fork in the road and im drowning not only me but others. esp someone who has brought me out of the darkness everytime i couldnt do it myself....the one time she needs me, i bail like a bitch. Im sorry ....and we know what are only future is....we were born different. In the true conclusion to every problem: actions speak louder than words. Im trying........
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| GRR |
[26 Mar 2004|07:08pm] |
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pissed off |
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lost prophets |
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Parents fucking suck! and they are the new ruiner of my life......my life had now been claimed directionless.
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| ummm |
[16 Mar 2004|07:44pm] |
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gary allen-songs about rain |
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ummm im a little bored right now! But last night was fun.....we(me,steph,vicki, matt, and matt) had a good time. hehe. No more talk about that.....so spring break is going good so far, minus me haveing to get up and go to work at 6 in the morning! yeah it sucks..aw well i guess its worth it:MONEY. I am a little crispy still from going to stephs beach house over the weekend. That was fun too. We surfed and stuff. ok i have to go watch american idol now...lol
ps...I think I like someone hehe
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| well |
[09 Mar 2004|08:02pm] |
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 okay |
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van morrison-dancing in the moonlight |
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well..... lifes pretty nice right now. I am having a good time just hanging out! And for the first time in a long time I am ok with things. In pretty much all aspects of my life. Spring break is approaching and it is sure to be an awsome time! hehe ok time to finsih homework!
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